web analytics

In ein paar Tagen hat er Geburtstag

Posted On September 5, 2011
September 05, 2011

In den letzten Tagen bin ich emotional so ziemlich am Ende

In wenigen Tagen hätte mein Bruder seinen 43. Geburtstag. Letztes Jahr hat er zum ersten Mal seit langen Jahren seinen Geburtstag wieder gefeiert. Mit seiner Freundin und unseren Eltern zusammen, saßen sie im Garten und er präsentierte einen bayrischen Abend.  Ich war nicht dabei. Ich war in Hamburg. Ich habe nicht mal mit ihm telefoniert, da er seine Nummer gewechselt hatte und ich diese nicht wusste. Ich hab ihm eine Mail geschrieben. Ich habe nicht einmal meine Eltern angerufen und sie gebeten mich doch einfach mal durchzustellen. Ich frage mich bis heute wieso. Was war an diesem Tag in meinem Leben so wichtig, dass ich nicht einmal mit ihm telefonierte.

Er hat mich einige Wochen später zu meinem Geburtstag angerufen. Doch ich war in Wien und hatte mein Handy nicht gecheckt. Das war das letzte Mal, dass ich seine Stimme hörte. Ich habe die Nachricht noch immer auf meinem Handy.

Klar wir schrieben uns Mails. Noch wenige Tage vor seinem Tod schrieben wir uns und flachsten herum. Doch ich frage mich noch heute, weswegen ich nicht einmal anrief an seinem Geburtstag. Ich fühle mich schuldig und was würde ich nicht alles tun um ihn in diesem Jahr einfach anzurufen und ihm zu seinem Geburtstag ein Happy Birthday in den Hörer zu rufen.

Meine Eltern feiern seinen Geburtstag in diesem Jahr, mit einem bayrischen Abend. Sie fragten mich ob ich komme, doch ich bringe es nicht fertig. Es fällt mir ungemein schwer überhaupt in meine Heimat zu fahren. Ich wäre gerne an diesem Tag für meine Eltern da und würde ihn so gerne Halt geben und Trost spenden, doch ich bringe die Kraft dazu nicht auf. Seit Tagen schon kämpfe ich fast jeden Abend um meine Fassung. Gleichzeitig frage ich mich täglich, wie oft wir alle noch gemeinsam zusammenkommen. Was wenn ich nächstes Jahr da stehe und denke, hätte ich doch nur. Man verliert sich so leicht aus den Augen, auch wenn es um die eigene Familie geht. Alltag, Stress, Job, eigene Bedürfnisse…

Ich versuche den 11. September zu überstehen und mir ist Angst, wenn ich auch nur ansatzweise an seinen ersten Todestag denke im Oktober. Ich bin jetzt schon so fertig, das kann doch nicht noch schlimmer werden. Doch ich weiss genau, es wird noch schlimmer. Ich hoffe so sehr, dass es irgendwann einfacher wird.

Ich vermisse ihn so sehr.

1.951 Comments

  1. Siobhan   1. Juni 2023 22:57

    I am really inspired with your writing talents as well as with the structure
    for your blog. Is that this a paid theme or did you modify it your self?
    Anyway stay up the excellent high quality writing, it’s
    rare to see a great blog like this one today..

  2. Ronda   2. Juni 2023 05:28

    Heya! I’m at work surfing around your blog from
    my new apple iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading
    through your blog and look forward to all your posts!
    Keep up the outstanding work!

  3. Charli   2. Juni 2023 06:55

    I want to to thank you for this wonderful read!!
    I certainly loved every little bit of it. I have you book marked to
    check out new things you post…

  4. Bailey   2. Juni 2023 10:06

    Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources
    back to your blog? My blog site is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users
    would definitely benefit from a lot of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this okay with you. Cheers!

  5. Admin RDP   2. Juni 2023 13:51

    Are the issues really as complex as they seem?

  6. Linnea   3. Juni 2023 10:06

    What’s up everyone, it’s my first go to see at this site, and article is genuinely
    fruitful in favor of me, keep up posting these types of
    content.

  7. Omer   4. Juni 2023 02:21

    Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues
    with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up
    losing a few months of hard work due to no data backup.
    Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?

  8. Ruth   4. Juni 2023 02:41

    Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your blog?
    My blog site is in the exact same niche as yours and my visitors would really benefit from a lot of the information you present
    here. Please let me know if this okay with you. Thanks a lot!

  9. Jerilyn   4. Juni 2023 04:14

    Right now it looks like Drupal is the best blogging platform out there right now.
    (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  10. Angus   4. Juni 2023 11:47

    Greetings, I think your web site may be having web browser compatibility issues.
    Whenever I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues.
    I simply wanted to give you a quick heads up! Apart from that, fantastic site!

  11. instalaciones fontaneria zaragoza   4. Juni 2023 17:41

    Pretty impressive article. I just stumbled upon your site and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your opinions. Any way I’ll be coming back and I hope you post again soon.

  12. Aurora   4. Juni 2023 23:07

    Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you penning this article plus
    the rest of the site is really good.

  13. Analisa   5. Juni 2023 00:03

    Appreciate the recommendation. Let me try it out.

  14. Pauline   5. Juni 2023 03:43

    Hey There. I found your weblog the use of msn. This is an extremely neatly written article.
    I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read
    more of your useful info. Thank you for the post. I’ll certainly return.

  15. Antoinette   5. Juni 2023 06:48

    I think everything said made a lot of sense. But, consider this, suppose you composed
    a catchier title? I am not saying your information isn’t good, but what if you
    added a post title that makes people want more?
    I mean In ein paar Tagen hat er Geburtstag | Let's call it Steve is kinda vanilla.
    You might peek at Yahoo’s front page and see how they create news headlines
    to get viewers to open the links. You might add a video or a related picture or two to get people
    interested about everything’ve written. In my opinion, it could make your blog a little bit more
    interesting.

  16. Keisha   5. Juni 2023 10:49

    Does your site have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating
    it but, I’d like to send you an email. I’ve got some creative ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great site and I look forward
    to seeing it improve over time.

  17. Beau   5. Juni 2023 10:51

    Hiya! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask.

    Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa?
    My blog discusses a lot of the same topics as yours and
    I feel we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an email.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the
    way!

  18. Bennett   5. Juni 2023 23:37

    Hi there Dear, are you truly visiting this web page daily, if so
    afterward you will absolutely take pleasant experience.

  19. best ias coaching in india   6. Juni 2023 05:17

    Thanks for sharing the information. I found the information very useful. That’s a awesome story you posted. I will come back to scan some more.

  20. Marcelino   6. Juni 2023 09:36

    It’s impressive that you are getting thoughts from this paragraph as well as from our argument made here.

  21. Dominic   6. Juni 2023 19:00

    It’s amazing for me to have a web site, which is
    good in favor of my knowledge. thanks admin

  22. Karissa   7. Juni 2023 08:59

    I just couldn’t go away your website prior to suggesting that I really enjoyed the standard info a person supply in your
    guests? Is going to be again incessantly in order to check up on new posts

  23. Randy   7. Juni 2023 23:20

    Amazing! Its in fact remarkable paragraph, I have got much clear idea on the topic of from this paragraph.

  24. Jenny   8. Juni 2023 01:23

    Great blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything.

    Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for
    a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m
    totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Thanks!

  25. Brent   8. Juni 2023 10:45

    It’s perfect time to make a few plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
    I have learn this publish and if I may I desire to suggest you
    some attention-grabbing issues or tips. Perhaps you can write next articles regarding this
    article. I wish to read even more issues about it!

  26. Kandi   8. Juni 2023 14:22

    When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment
    is added I get several emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove people from that service?
    Cheers!

  27. Christel   8. Juni 2023 18:09

    What’s up, I check your new stuff like every week.
    Your humoristic style is awesome, keep up the good work!

  28. Johnette   9. Juni 2023 06:07

    Hello there! This is my first visit to your blog!

    We are a team of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on. You
    have done a extraordinary job!

  29. Soila   9. Juni 2023 09:32

    An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment.
    I do think that you should write more on this subject,
    it might not be a taboo subject but typically folks don’t discuss these
    subjects. To the next! Cheers!!

  30. Dyan   9. Juni 2023 10:54

    If some one wishes to be updated with hottest technologies then he must be pay a visit this web site and be up to date daily.

  31. Torri   9. Juni 2023 11:06

    magnificent submit, very informative. I ponder why the other experts of
    this sector don’t realize this. You should continue your writing.
    I am sure, you have a great readers’ base already!

  32. Reformas en el sector de la tecnología de la información en Zaragoza   9. Juni 2023 13:41

    Appreciation for taking the time to discuss this topic, I would love to discover more on this topic. If viable, as you gain expertise, would you object to updating the website with further information? It is tremendously beneficial for me.

  33. reformas parques zaragoza   11. Juni 2023 07:52

    There is perceptibly a lot to identify about this. I consider you made some good points in features also.

  34. reformas barios centricos   11. Juni 2023 10:45

    Glad to be one of many visitants on this amazing site : D.

  35. Roland   11. Juni 2023 10:56

    It’s an amazing paragraph in favor of all the web users;
    they will get benefit from it I am sure.

  36. Salina   11. Juni 2023 20:47

    Thanks for any other great post. The place else may anybody get
    that kind of info in such an ideal method of writing?
    I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I’m at the
    search for such information.

  37. Serena   12. Juni 2023 10:42

    Awesome site you have here but I was wondering if you knew of
    any user discussion forums that cover the same topics talked about in this article?
    I’d really love to be a part of group where I can get advice from other experienced people
    that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions,
    please let me know. Kudos!

  38. Daniella   12. Juni 2023 17:20

    WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching
    for Natural Health Supplements

  39. ??????   13. Juni 2023 02:40

    A friend of mine advised this site. And yes. it has some useful pieces of info and I enjoyed scaning it. Therefore i would love to drop you a quick note to express my thank. Take care

  40. Betsey   13. Juni 2023 16:57

    This article is in fact a good one it helps new net viewers, who
    are wishing in favor of blogging.

  41. https://maps.google.fr/url?q=https://www.topoakleysoutlet.com/   15. Juni 2023 06:52

    |A fabulous handbag can spruce up any outfit, but match it up with other bags you may also need to carry. For example, if you carry a briefcase, coordinate your handbag with your briefcase. You should only ever have a maximum of two bags on you at the same time.

  42. Joel   15. Juni 2023 07:44

    You’re so awesome! I do not believe I have read a single thing
    like that before. So nice to find another person with some unique thoughts on this subject matter.
    Really.. many thanks for starting this up.

    This site is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with a bit of originality!

  43. Calvin   15. Juni 2023 11:35

    What’s up, I read your blog regularly. Your writing style is awesome,
    keep up the good work!

  44. best fake ids   15. Juni 2023 16:13

    This contained some excellent tips and tools. Great blog publication.

  45. ????????????? ?????   15. Juni 2023 18:21

    With havin so much written content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my authorization. Do you know any methods to help stop content from being ripped off? I’d certainly appreciate it.

  46. Harold   16. Juni 2023 02:46

    Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your content seem to be running off the screen in Opera.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web
    browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to
    let you know. The design and style look great though!

    Hope you get the problem solved soon. Cheers

  47. Advertise Vacation Rentals   16. Juni 2023 04:36

    I think this is among the so much vital info for me. And i’m happy reading your article. But wanna remark on few common issues, The site style is wonderful, the articles is really excellent : D. Just right job, cheers

  48. steve gibbs penticton bc   16. Juni 2023 05:00

    I don’t normally comment on blogs.. But nice post! I just bookmarked your site

  49. steve gibbs penticton   16. Juni 2023 06:10

    Thanks so much for this, keep up the good work :)

  50. Tilly   16. Juni 2023 08:41

    Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article.
    I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more
    of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will certainly comeback.

Post a Comment

Deine E-Mail-Adresse wird nicht veröffentlicht. Erforderliche Felder sind markiert *

*

Awesome content goodness by Sandra and WordPress