Als ich gestern über meine Hello Kitty Uhr schrieb, schweiften meine Gedanken ein wenig ab. Und irgendwie landete ich beim Thema biologische Uhr. *Ich weiss meine Gedankengänge sind manchmal wirr*
Um es gleich vorwegzunehmen, ich bin der Meinung bei meiner biologischen Uhr ist die Batterie leer. Oder sie ging von Anfang an nicht. Ich weiss es nicht. Manchmal frage ich mich, ob es sie überhaupt gibt?
Doch es scheint sie ja zu geben, wenn so viele Frauen sie spüren/hören. Vielleicht höre ich auch einfach nur schlecht? Schwer zu sagen, denn bei mir tut sich nichts.
Ich bin nun 32 Jahre – fast 33 Jahre. Die einzigen Dinge die mir durch den Kopf gehen, sind die kleinen Falten die ich langsam entdecke und meine nicht wirklich vorhandene Karriere. Die Tatsache, dass ich versuche jede Minute meines Lebens zu geniessen *was oft nicht leicht ist* und versuche diese Momente mit den Personen zu teilen, die ich gern habe und liebe.
Nur dieser typische Nestbauinstinkt, scheint sich bei mir nicht einzustellen. Ich verspüre nicht das unbändige Verlangen ein Kind zu haben. Und ich habe nicht das Bedürfnis zu heiraten.
Manchmal frage ich mich, ob bei mir etwas nicht stimmt. Und dann stelle ich mir vor, wie mein Leben wäre, wenn die Uhr rechtzeitig geklingelt hätte. Vielleicht bin ich zu egoistisch, aber diese Vorstellung, an etwas so stark gebunden zu sein, wie an ein Kind, finde ich merkwürdig. Versteht mich nicht falsch. Ich bin bei Leibe kein Kinderhasser *war ja früher sogar Erzieherin*, doch ich weiss wirklich nicht ob das was für mich ist!?
Ich stelle es mir schön vor mit einer kleinen Tochter shoppen zu gehen und chice Kleidchen zu kaufen, nachmittags Cupcakes zu backen und heissen Kakao zu trinken. Doch selbst ich weiss, dass dies nicht die Regel ist.
Ich habe einige Freundinnen, die bereits vor 10 Jahren zu mir sagten, sie möchten Kinder, am liebsten ganz viele. Wenn ich daran denke, an was ich mit 23 Jahren dachte….. nun ja zumindest nicht an Kinder. Doch damals sagte jeder zu mir: “Warte bis du 30 J. bist, dann fängt das automatisch an”. Ok, ich bin nun bereits über 30 J. und so langsam beginne ich mir selbst ein wenig Druck zu machen. Gedanklich meine ich. Ich warte förmlich darauf, dass sich ein “Gefühl” einstellt. Oder wie auch immer man diese doofe Uhr bemerkt.
Seit letzem Jahr überlege ich nun, ob ich diese Uhr nicht einfach austricksen sollte. Ungeachtet dessen, dass ich keinen Kinderwunsch habe, einfach eines zu bekommen. Aber was ist, wenn ich dann in 2 Jahren feststelle, dass das keine gute Idee war? Rückgängig machen kann ich es dann nicht mehr. Und vom Umtausch ist es auch ausgeschlossen.
Dann kommt so langsam hinzu, dass ich mich ein wenig sozial ausgegrenzt fühle. Viele meiner Freunde sind verheiratet und haben bereits Kinder. Sie gehen *verständlicher Weise* nicht mehr so viel aus. Und wenn, dann sind es Events, wo Kinder herumtoben können. Und nichts wo man bis 4 Uhr in der Früh Mojito trinkend auf den Tischen tanzt.
Ihre Gesprächsthemen verändern sich. Plötzlich wird von Milchschorf, Windelallergie, Schulen, Familientreffen berichtet. Und in gewissem Maße kann ich durch meine erste Ausbildung da auch noch mitreden, aber will ich das? Und plötzlich reden meine Freundinnen, nicht mehr von Jan, Oliver, Tobi, sondern nur noch von “mein Mann”. Warum? Ich weiss doch, dass sie verheiratet sind? Sie lernen durch die Kindergärten und Schulen andere Freunde kennen. Freunde die auch Kinder haben. Freunde, mit denen ich nichts anzufangen weiss. Freunde die einen Kombi fahren, ihre Ferien im Center Park verbringen und Gardinen mögen.
Seht ihr was ich meine?! Mir fehlt da etwas!!!
Ich habe ein wenig Angst, dass sich meine Uhr vielleicht verspätet. *ich selbst bin ja auch immer unpünktlich* Aber was ist, wenn dem so ist? Was ist, wenn ich mit 39 Jahren – also in 6 Jahren – feststelle, dass ich Kinder will, Kombis, Gardinen, etc…? Dann ist es zu spät und ich werde mich mein Leben lang ärgern, dass mich meine Kinder nicht an Weihnachten besuchen kommen. Ich nichts zu Muttertag gebastelt bekomme und keine Eier an Ostern im Garten verstecken werde.
Muss man vielleicht einfach ins kalte Wasser springen? Und ist die Tatsache, dass ich überhaupt über all das nachdenke, vielleicht schon die Uhr? Vielleicht es in in meinem Fall ja eine Funkuhr und man hört sie erst gar nicht ticken…
Vielleicht gibt es ja doch noch Hoffnung für mich?!
…ok, der Post war jetzt sehr privat und gehört eigentlich auch nicht auf Steve. Genießt es, das kommt nicht oft vor hier. 
I want to to thank you for this good read!! I certainly loved every little bit of it. I’ve got you bookmarked to check out new stuff you postÖ
Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to produce a good articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get anything done.
I just wanted to jot down a simple remark to thank you for those lovely tricks you are showing at this website. My considerable internet look up has now been compensated with awesome tips to exchange with my visitors. I ‘d state that that many of us site visitors actually are rather blessed to live in a really good place with so many brilliant individuals with good advice. I feel extremely fortunate to have discovered the site and look forward to really more fun minutes reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.
I want to express some appreciation to you just for bailing me out of this challenge. As a result of looking throughout the the net and obtaining notions which are not pleasant, I was thinking my life was over. Existing devoid of the strategies to the issues you’ve fixed by way of your short article is a crucial case, and the ones that might have badly affected my career if I had not encountered your blog. Your own personal understanding and kindness in dealing with the whole lot was useful. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come upon such a point like this. I’m able to at this time relish my future. Thanks for your time so much for the impressive and results-oriented guide. I will not think twice to suggest the website to anyone who wants and needs guidance on this problem.
I want to show my appreciation to this writer for bailing me out of this particular matter. As a result of scouting through the search engines and meeting things which are not pleasant, I was thinking my entire life was done. Being alive without the presence of solutions to the difficulties you’ve sorted out by way of your entire posting is a crucial case, and the kind which might have negatively affected my entire career if I had not encountered your blog. Your good knowledge and kindness in dealing with the whole thing was vital. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not come upon such a subject like this. I can also at this time relish my future. Thanks very much for your expert and result oriented help. I won’t think twice to endorse your blog post to any individual who wants and needs care on this topic.
I not to mention my friends appeared to be examining the nice points found on the blog and all of the sudden came up with a terrible suspicion I had not thanked the web blog owner for those secrets. All the people ended up for this reason very interested to read all of them and have clearly been loving these things. Appreciate your indeed being so helpful and for going for this form of fantastic tips most people are really needing to discover. My sincere apologies for not saying thanks to you sooner.
I really liked your post.Really thank you! Keep writing.
Really appreciate you sharing this article post.Really thank you! Much obliged.
Muchos Gracias for your blog post.Thanks Again. Really Great.
great publish, very informative. I’m wondering why the other experts of this sector
don’t realize this. You should proceed your writing. I’m sure, you have a great readers’ base already!
I have to express some appreciation to the writer for bailing me out of this type of matter. Because of checking through the internet and meeting ideas which are not productive, I thought my entire life was over. Being alive minus the solutions to the problems you’ve fixed by means of your main guideline is a crucial case, and the kind which might have in a wrong way affected my career if I hadn’t encountered your web blog. Your main understanding and kindness in controlling every aspect was crucial. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t come across such a step like this. I’m able to at this time look ahead to my future. Thanks very much for this professional and results-oriented help. I won’t be reluctant to endorse your web page to any person who should get guidance about this area.
I precisely wanted to say thanks once again. I’m not certain the things I would have carried out without those tactics shown by you regarding such problem. It truly was a real horrifying issue in my circumstances, but seeing the very specialized approach you resolved it forced me to cry with joy. I am happy for the help and as well , hope that you find out what a great job you were providing instructing most people via your webpage. I am sure you have never met all of us.
This is my first time visit at here and i
am in fact happy to read all at one place.
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be actually
something that I think I would never understand. It seems too
complicated and extremely broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will
try to get the hang of it!
Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave
it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to
her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it
pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this
is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article.
I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read
more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will certainly return.
Have you ever thought about writing an ebook or guest authoring on other sites?
I have a blog centered on the same information you discuss and would love to have you
share some stories/information. I know my subscribers
would enjoy your work. If you’re even remotely interested,
feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
I want to show some appreciation to this writer just for bailing me out of this circumstance. As a result of exploring through the search engines and finding techniques which are not helpful, I figured my entire life was done. Living without the presence of answers to the problems you have fixed all through the site is a critical case, as well as those that would have negatively damaged my career if I had not come across your web page. That skills and kindness in taking care of a lot of stuff was very useful. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had not discovered such a step like this. I can also at this moment look forward to my future. Thanks very much for the high quality and amazing guide. I won’t be reluctant to refer the blog to any person who should get tips on this subject.
Thanks so much for giving everyone remarkably brilliant possiblity to check tips from this blog. It really is very sweet and also full of fun for me and my office colleagues to search your web site at minimum thrice every week to read the fresh things you have. And indeed, we are certainly happy considering the excellent concepts served by you. Some 4 tips in this post are clearly the most suitable we have had.
Hi. Awesome! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!) porngifs.ca
I wanted to draft you this tiny observation in order to thank you so much once again considering the wonderful strategies you’ve featured on this site. It’s simply strangely generous of you to convey extensively what most of us would have supplied as an ebook to end up making some dough on their own, notably considering the fact that you could have tried it if you ever desired. Those points as well served as the great way to be aware that some people have the identical dream similar to my personal own to grasp way more with respect to this issue. I’m certain there are several more fun periods up front for many who read your blog post.
My husband and i have been comfortable Albert managed to finish up his reports from your precious recommendations he discovered in your web page. It is now and again perplexing to simply be giving freely concepts which usually men and women have been trying to sell. We consider we need the writer to be grateful to because of that. The most important explanations you have made, the straightforward site navigation, the relationships you will help to promote – it’s got everything sensational, and it’s facilitating our son in addition to our family consider that the topic is cool, and that is particularly pressing. Many thanks for everything!
ivermectin canada stromectol for sale – ivermectin tablets
I absolutely love your site.. Very nice colors & theme. Did you develop this website yourself?
Please reply back as I’m planning to create my very own website and would
love to know where you got this from or exactly what the theme is called.
Many thanks!
Asking questions are genuinely pleasant thing if you are not understanding anything totally, butthis piece of writing offers nice understanding yet.
I love reading through an article that can make men and women think. Also, thank you for allowing for me to comment.
???????????????????????? ?????????????????????????? UFABET ????????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????? UFABET
Very well written post. It will be helpful to everyone who employess it, as well as me. Keep doing what you are doing – for sure i will check out more posts.
Hi, this weekend is good in support of me, because this occasion iam reading this wonderful informative piece of writinghere at my house.
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
Plz answer back as I’m looking to create my own blog and would
like to know where u got this from. thanks
Howdy would you mind letting me know which hosting company
you’re working with? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different browsers and I must
say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good hosting provider at a fair price?
Thanks, I appreciate it!
There’s certainly a lot to find out about this issue. I love all the points you have made.
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon on a daily basis. It will always be useful to read content from other authors and practice a little something from other web sites.
This piece of writing gives clear idea for the new viewers
of blogging, that genuinely how to do running a blog.
Hi there it’s me, I am also visiting this website
daily, this website is really fastidious and
the people are genuinely sharing fastidious thoughts.
Awesome blog post.Much thanks again. Want more.
Really informative blog post.Really thank you! Awesome.
apartments colorado springs apartments in williamsburg va river park apartments
Rolex possesses a appropriate weighing machine and robustness.
Hi there this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code
with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have
no coding skills so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience.
Any help would be enormously appreciated!
Aw, this was a truly nice post. In idea I want to place in creating like this furthermore? requiring time and real initiative to make a very good short article? yet what can I say? I hesitate alot as well as by no means seem to get something done.
Hey! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but afterreading through some of the post I realized it’s newto me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely glad Ifound it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!
Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of the site is also really good.
Tremendous things here. I’m very satisfied to seeyour article. Thank you a lot and I am taking a lookahead to contact you. Will you please drop me a mail?
Even though the activity has pretty similar attributes to pubg mobile,the purpose in free fire is different.Free Fire Account Free 2021 Garena Accounts And PasswordFree Fire Account Free
craigslist apartments rentberry scam ico 30m$ raised santee apartments
modafinil and birth control – provigil a narcotic modafinil addiction
Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!
Howdy! I simply would like to give you a huge thumbs up for your great info you’ve got right here on this post. I am returning to your web site for more soon.
I like this post, enjoyed this one appreciate it for posting. “The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it unfriendly. It is simply indifferent.” by John Andrew Holmes.