Auf dem Weg nachhause, wollte ich heute noch schnell in meinem Lieblingsladen vorbei – Lush! Die Mädels unter euch kennen es sicher. Allen anderen sei gesagt, es handelt sich um einen Laden, voller Cremes, Seifen, Badezusätzen, etc!
Ich brauchte neue Peelingseife. Doch schon beim Betreten des Ladens war klar, etwas war anders. Man hatte umgeräumt!
Leicht irritiert, suchte ich die Regale ab. Ich kann nicht anders, dieses Geschäft fasziniert mich einfach. Ich liebe es vor den Regalen zu stehen, zu staunen, die Düfte zu riechen… ihr wisst schon! So auch heute. Doch während ich so staunte, stand und schnüffelte, griff jemand nach meinem linken Arm und begann darauf einen Massage Bar zu reiben. *ziemlich öliges Ding!*
Völlig verdutzt schaute ich in die Richtung, in die mein Arm mir entschwand. Und da war er!!!!!! Nein, nicht nur mein Arm…. Der warme Catwalk Japaner!!!
Ihr fragt euch nun sicher was, oder vielmehr wer, der warme Catwalk Japaner ist!? Ich erkläre es euch, passt auf!
Der warme Catwalk Japaner (nachfolgend nur noch WCJ genannt) zeichnet sich durch folgende Merkmale aus:
- Er hat lange schwarze Haare, die er mit einem Haarband mit Schleifchen, so wie Doris Day, verziert.
- Er stellt sich vor er sei auf einem Catwalk und übt wie ein Model zu laufen. Im Laden! Vor Kunden!
- Er hat einen extrem weiblichen Gang
- Er spricht und gestikuliert sehr weiblich
- Er kichert immer und bei allem
- Er tanzt mitten in einem Kundengespräch unvermittelt drauf los und ruft: “Oh I love that song”
- Er steht sehr wahrscheinlich auf das selbe Geschlecht, wie auch Fudge… auf Männer
Ich denke, mit diesen Angaben könnt ihr euch ein ungefähres Bild von ihm machen.
Der WCJ hatte also meinen Arm im Griff und rubbelte Massageöl auf ihn ein. Dann begann er zu massieren. Das Merkwürdige dabei war zum Einen, dass er währenddessen mit einer Kollegin sprach und mich nicht einmal ansah. Zum Anderen verblüffte mich die Tatsache, dass ich erst gar nicht gefragt wurde.
Nun bin ich ja ein recht humorvoller Mensch und ließ ihn mal machen. Ich stand also im Laden, schaute mir die Regale an, der WCJ massierte hingebungsvoll meinen linken Arm und unterhielt sich mit seiner Kollegin. Mich beachtete niemand! In mir brodelte es. Nicht vor Ärger! Nein, ich versuchte einen Lachanfall zu unterdrücken. Diese ganze Situation war so absurd, dass ich schwer damit kämpfen musste, ein ernstes Gesicht zu machen.
Und dann wandte er sich mir zu. Wahrscheinlich, weil ich ihn anstarrte.
Er meinte: “Nun riechst du wie eine Kokosnuss. Ist das nicht toll!?”
Ich: “Jetzt ist aber mein Arm ölig.”
Ha! Fehler, Fudge! Hätte ich doch den Mund gehalten. Denn nun nahm er beherzt eine Dose aus dem Regal und kippte massenhaft Puder auf meinen Arm. “Das absorbiert das Öl!” Ja, und machte mein schwarzes Shirt ganz weiß. Klasse! Hätte ich doch mal den Mund gehalten. Motiviert kippte, rieb und rubbelte er auf meinen Arm ein. Ich fing an zu lachen. Ich konnte nicht mehr.
Als er fertig war, blickte er mich stolz an, warf sein wallendes Haar nach hinten und meinte: “Nun riechst du wie eine Candy-Box.” Und stolzen Model-Schrittes ging er von dannen.
Glaubt mir, es passiert mir nicht oft, dass ich so perplex bin! Ich kaufte meine Seife und mit einem fetten Grinsen im Gesicht ging ich zurück auf die Straße. Und nun konnte ich auch meinen Lachanfall nicht mehr zurück halten.
Es ist so schade, dass niemand das gesehen hat. Ich stinke noch immer wie eine Tüte Fruchtgummis und die Fliegen waren auf dem Weg nachhause meine Freunde. Doch ich sag euch, so etwas habe ich auch noch nicht erlebt!!!
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