In den letzten Tagen bin ich emotional so ziemlich am Ende
In wenigen Tagen hätte mein Bruder seinen 43. Geburtstag. Letztes Jahr hat er zum ersten Mal seit langen Jahren seinen Geburtstag wieder gefeiert. Mit seiner Freundin und unseren Eltern zusammen, saßen sie im Garten und er präsentierte einen bayrischen Abend. Ich war nicht dabei. Ich war in Hamburg. Ich habe nicht mal mit ihm telefoniert, da er seine Nummer gewechselt hatte und ich diese nicht wusste. Ich hab ihm eine Mail geschrieben. Ich habe nicht einmal meine Eltern angerufen und sie gebeten mich doch einfach mal durchzustellen. Ich frage mich bis heute wieso. Was war an diesem Tag in meinem Leben so wichtig, dass ich nicht einmal mit ihm telefonierte.
Er hat mich einige Wochen später zu meinem Geburtstag angerufen. Doch ich war in Wien und hatte mein Handy nicht gecheckt. Das war das letzte Mal, dass ich seine Stimme hörte. Ich habe die Nachricht noch immer auf meinem Handy.
Klar wir schrieben uns Mails. Noch wenige Tage vor seinem Tod schrieben wir uns und flachsten herum. Doch ich frage mich noch heute, weswegen ich nicht einmal anrief an seinem Geburtstag. Ich fühle mich schuldig und was würde ich nicht alles tun um ihn in diesem Jahr einfach anzurufen und ihm zu seinem Geburtstag ein Happy Birthday in den Hörer zu rufen.
Meine Eltern feiern seinen Geburtstag in diesem Jahr, mit einem bayrischen Abend. Sie fragten mich ob ich komme, doch ich bringe es nicht fertig. Es fällt mir ungemein schwer überhaupt in meine Heimat zu fahren. Ich wäre gerne an diesem Tag für meine Eltern da und würde ihn so gerne Halt geben und Trost spenden, doch ich bringe die Kraft dazu nicht auf. Seit Tagen schon kämpfe ich fast jeden Abend um meine Fassung. Gleichzeitig frage ich mich täglich, wie oft wir alle noch gemeinsam zusammenkommen. Was wenn ich nächstes Jahr da stehe und denke, hätte ich doch nur. Man verliert sich so leicht aus den Augen, auch wenn es um die eigene Familie geht. Alltag, Stress, Job, eigene Bedürfnisse…
Ich versuche den 11. September zu überstehen und mir ist Angst, wenn ich auch nur ansatzweise an seinen ersten Todestag denke im Oktober. Ich bin jetzt schon so fertig, das kann doch nicht noch schlimmer werden. Doch ich weiss genau, es wird noch schlimmer. Ich hoffe so sehr, dass es irgendwann einfacher wird.
Ich vermisse ihn so sehr.
Great blog right here! You seem to put a significant amount of material on the site rather quickly.
I like your blog. It sounds every informative.
I loved your idea there, I tell you blogs are so exciting sometimes like looking into people’s private life’s and work. Every new remark wonderful in its own right.
We’ve featured 2023 the best Skincare ingredient checkers list, it will 100% help you create a safe and effective routine.
Spot on with this write-up, I actually assume this website needs far more consideration. I will in all probability be once more to learn rather more, thanks for that info.
Spot on with this write-up, I actually assume this website needs far more consideration. I will in all probability be once more to learn rather more, thanks for that info.
When are you going to post again? You really entertain me!
I don’t know if it’s just me or if everybody else experiencing issues with your site. It appears as though some of the written text on your content are running off the screen. Can someone else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them as well? This could be a problem with my web browser because I’ve had this happen before. Appreciate it
Our family had similar issues, thanks.
it is a really nice point of view. I usually meet people who rather say what they suppose others want to hear. Good and well written! I will come back to your site for sure!
You appear to know so much about this, and I see you’re a published author. Thanks
You need to really control the comments listed here
Thank you for great information. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
Spot on with this write-up, I actually assume this website needs far more consideration. I will in all probability be once more to learn rather more, thanks for that info.
Tips and tools you offer are so helpful to agencies in our community.
It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I want to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it!
I really love to read such an excellent article. Helpful article. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
These kind of posts are always inspiring and I prefer to read quality content so I happy to find many good point here in the post. writing is simply wonderful! thank you for the post
Nice article inspiring thanks. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
Peculiar this blog is totaly unrelated to what I was searching for – - interesting to see you’re well indexed in the search engines.
Thank you great posting about essential oil. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
Hi, I just hopped over to your web-site through StumbleUpon. Not somthing I might typically browse, but I liked your views none the less. Thanks for making something worthy of reading through.
Hi, do have a e-newsletter? In the event you don’t definately should get on that piece…this web site is pure gold!
How long have you been in this field? You seem to know a lot more than I do, I’d love to know your sources!
What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It positively useful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & help other users like its aided me. Great job.
Our communities really need to deal with this.
Greetings… your blog is very interesting and beautifully written.
Our communities really need to deal with this.
How long have you been in this field? You seem to know a lot more than I do, I’d love to know your sources!
You ma’am have a way with words. Thank you very much!
Its just like you read my thoughts! It’s like reading about my family.
Nice article inspiring thanks. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
Hello there! I really enjoy reading your blog! If you keep making amazing posts like this I will come back every day to keep reading.
Simply want to say your article is as amazing. The clarity in your post is just great and i can assume you’re an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.
Some truly nice stuff on this website , I like it.
My brother suggested I might like this websiteHe was once totally rightThis post truly made my dayYou can not imagine simply how a lot time I had spent for this information! Thanks!
What made you first develop an interest in this topic?
Thanks for some other great post. Where else may anybody get that kind of information in such an ideal method of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I am at the look for such information.
Thank you great posting about essential oil. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
I believe this web site has some really wonderful info for everyone : D.
Thank you for the auspicious writeup.
Thank you for the auspicious writeup.
Nice article inspiring thanks. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
Nice article inspiring thanks. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
Thanks , I’ve recently been searching for info about this topic for ages and yours is the best I have discovered so far. But, what concerning the bottom line? Are you certain concerning the source?
Howdy! I simply wish to give a huge thumbs up for the great information you have here on this post. I will be coming again to your weblog for extra soon.
Like the way you’ve outlined things. Easy to follow. Not cluttered.
Its just like you read my thoughts! It’s like reading about my family.
Thank you for great article. Hello Administ . child porn ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ????????????? ?????????????
Sometimes, the sheer magnitude of the information seems overwhelming.