In den letzten Tagen bin ich emotional so ziemlich am Ende
In wenigen Tagen hätte mein Bruder seinen 43. Geburtstag. Letztes Jahr hat er zum ersten Mal seit langen Jahren seinen Geburtstag wieder gefeiert. Mit seiner Freundin und unseren Eltern zusammen, saßen sie im Garten und er präsentierte einen bayrischen Abend. Ich war nicht dabei. Ich war in Hamburg. Ich habe nicht mal mit ihm telefoniert, da er seine Nummer gewechselt hatte und ich diese nicht wusste. Ich hab ihm eine Mail geschrieben. Ich habe nicht einmal meine Eltern angerufen und sie gebeten mich doch einfach mal durchzustellen. Ich frage mich bis heute wieso. Was war an diesem Tag in meinem Leben so wichtig, dass ich nicht einmal mit ihm telefonierte.
Er hat mich einige Wochen später zu meinem Geburtstag angerufen. Doch ich war in Wien und hatte mein Handy nicht gecheckt. Das war das letzte Mal, dass ich seine Stimme hörte. Ich habe die Nachricht noch immer auf meinem Handy.
Klar wir schrieben uns Mails. Noch wenige Tage vor seinem Tod schrieben wir uns und flachsten herum. Doch ich frage mich noch heute, weswegen ich nicht einmal anrief an seinem Geburtstag. Ich fühle mich schuldig und was würde ich nicht alles tun um ihn in diesem Jahr einfach anzurufen und ihm zu seinem Geburtstag ein Happy Birthday in den Hörer zu rufen.
Meine Eltern feiern seinen Geburtstag in diesem Jahr, mit einem bayrischen Abend. Sie fragten mich ob ich komme, doch ich bringe es nicht fertig. Es fällt mir ungemein schwer überhaupt in meine Heimat zu fahren. Ich wäre gerne an diesem Tag für meine Eltern da und würde ihn so gerne Halt geben und Trost spenden, doch ich bringe die Kraft dazu nicht auf. Seit Tagen schon kämpfe ich fast jeden Abend um meine Fassung. Gleichzeitig frage ich mich täglich, wie oft wir alle noch gemeinsam zusammenkommen. Was wenn ich nächstes Jahr da stehe und denke, hätte ich doch nur. Man verliert sich so leicht aus den Augen, auch wenn es um die eigene Familie geht. Alltag, Stress, Job, eigene Bedürfnisse…
Ich versuche den 11. September zu überstehen und mir ist Angst, wenn ich auch nur ansatzweise an seinen ersten Todestag denke im Oktober. Ich bin jetzt schon so fertig, das kann doch nicht noch schlimmer werden. Doch ich weiss genau, es wird noch schlimmer. Ich hoffe so sehr, dass es irgendwann einfacher wird.
Ich vermisse ihn so sehr.
Fantastic piece of writing here1
Woah this is just an insane amount of information, must of taken ages to compile so thanx so much for just sharing it with all of us. If your ever in any need of related information, just check out my own site!
Thank you for your entire efforts on this web site. My mom takes pleasure in setting aside time for investigations and it’s really simple to grasp why. All of us hear all regarding the dynamic tactic you offer priceless strategies by means of this web site and in addition encourage contribution from some others on that subject while our own daughter is undoubtedly studying a great deal. Take advantage of the remaining portion of the new year. You’re the one carrying out a terrific job.
I wish to convey my gratitude for your generosity in support of individuals who absolutely need help with this area. Your personal dedication to getting the message up and down had been surprisingly effective and has all the time allowed somebody just like me to realize their pursuits. This warm and friendly publication can mean a lot a person like me and especially to my office workers. Thanks a ton; from everyone of us.
The clarity in your post is just nice and I can tell you are an expert in the subject matter.
I definitely wanted to jot down a small remark to be able to say thanks to you for these lovely tactics you are sharing on this site. My particularly long internet search has at the end been rewarded with awesome strategies to write about with my partners. I ‘d state that that most of us website visitors actually are rather fortunate to be in a notable community with so many marvellous individuals with valuable opinions. I feel somewhat happy to have come across your web page and look forward to some more amazing times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for all the details.
I truly enjoy studying on this website , it has got superb content. “Dream no small dreams. They have no power to stir the souls of men.” by Victor Hugo.
Awesome post. It’s so good to see someone taking the time to share this information
This is the wave – the big wave.
This is one very informative blog. I like the way you write and I will bookmark your blog to my favorites.
I am only writing to let you be aware of of the perfect encounter my friend’s girl went through browsing your webblog. She came to find such a lot of details, with the inclusion of what it’s like to have an excellent helping mood to have others easily learn about some problematic issues. You undoubtedly surpassed visitors’ expectations. Thank you for churning out those useful, healthy, explanatory not to mention cool thoughts on that topic to Janet.
Thank you for every one of your effort on this web site. Betty loves getting into internet research and it’s easy to understand why. Almost all learn all relating to the compelling mode you make worthwhile guidelines through your website and in addition inspire response from others on the theme so our simple princess is truly discovering a whole lot. Enjoy the remaining portion of the new year. You have been conducting a really great job.
Thank you pertaining to sharing the following great subject matter on your website. I ran into it on google. I am going to check to come back after you publish additional aricles.
This is a great blog. Thank you for the very informative post.
Cherished is likely to be what people say about your comments.
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already
Cheers!
While this issue can vexed most people, my thought is that there has to be a middle or common ground that we all can find. I do value that you’ve added pertinent and sound commentary here though. Thank you!
I am just writing to let you know of the fantastic experience my cousin’s princess experienced browsing your webblog. She discovered a wide variety of pieces, most notably what it is like to possess an ideal teaching character to have the others effortlessly gain knowledge of selected very confusing things. You actually exceeded her desires. I appreciate you for imparting those essential, trusted, informative and cool thoughts on your topic to Julie.
I just wanted to send a simple note to be able to appreciate you for some of the amazing strategies you are giving here. My incredibly long internet search has at the end been paid with good quality tips to go over with my co-workers. I ‘d point out that many of us readers are very much endowed to exist in a wonderful site with very many brilliant people with insightful pointers. I feel really lucky to have come across your website page and look forward to really more fun times reading here. Thanks a lot once more for all the details.
Oh my goodness! an amazing article. Great work.
You certainly deserve a round of applause for your post and more specifically, your blog in general. Very high quality material!
I enjoy your blog posts, saved to my bookmarks!
Needed to write you the bit of remark in order to say thank you once again for those lovely tactics you’ve shared on this page. It was really shockingly open-handed with people like you to supply openly just what a number of us would have offered for an electronic book to help with making some profit for themselves, principally considering that you could possibly have done it if you ever decided. These guidelines additionally acted to become easy way to fully grasp that someone else have the identical interest just as mine to realize great deal more regarding this condition. I believe there are numerous more fun occasions up front for many who browse through your site.
I needed to put you this little word to finally thank you again just for the amazing tips you have featured on this site. This is simply surprisingly open-handed of people like you to convey unreservedly exactly what a few individuals could possibly have marketed for an e book to get some dough for their own end, most notably since you might well have tried it in case you considered necessary. The pointers likewise acted to be the good way to fully grasp that someone else have the same keenness really like my personal own to find out lots more with regards to this issue. I know there are thousands of more pleasurable occasions up front for individuals who browse through your blog post.
I haven¦t checked in here for a while as I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend
naturally like your web site however you have to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very bothersome to inform the truth nevertheless I will surely come back again.
My husband and i got absolutely thrilled when Peter managed to finish off his investigation via the precious recommendations he obtained from your very own web page. It’s not at all simplistic to simply choose to be making a gift of techniques which often other folks could have been selling. We really consider we have the blog owner to give thanks to for that. Those illustrations you made, the easy blog navigation, the friendships you will make it easier to create – it’s many awesome, and it’s making our son in addition to the family feel that that situation is amusing, and that is rather pressing. Many thanks for all!
I am just commenting to let you know what a perfect encounter my daughter gained using the blog. She realized many details, most notably what it is like to have an excellent helping mindset to get other individuals quite simply thoroughly grasp some multifaceted matters. You truly exceeded visitors’ desires. Many thanks for coming up with the precious, trusted, informative not to mention fun tips on this topic to Lizeth.
I favored your idea there, I tell you blogs are so helpful sometimes like looking into people’s private life’s and work.At times this world has too much information to grasp. Every new comment wonderful in its own right.
Like the way you’ve outlined things. Easy to follow. Not cluttered.
Tips and tools you offer are so helpful to agencies in our community.
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already
Cheers!
I just couldn’t leave your website before suggesting that I really enjoyed the usual information an individual supply on your visitors? Is gonna be back often in order to investigate cross-check new posts
Regards for all your efforts that you have put in this. very interesting information.
I would like to get across my respect for your kind-heartedness in support of individuals who should have help on this particular subject matter. Your personal dedication to getting the solution all around has been extraordinarily invaluable and has always helped professionals much like me to attain their desired goals. Your new insightful hints and tips can mean much a person like me and extremely more to my colleagues. Warm regards; from each one of us.
I am just commenting to let you understand what a extraordinary discovery my daughter went through reading through the blog. She came to understand such a lot of details, with the inclusion of how it is like to have a marvelous giving style to get most people clearly learn about selected problematic things. You actually did more than her expectations. Many thanks for rendering such practical, dependable, informative and in addition cool thoughts on that topic to Tanya.
I genuinely treasure your piece of work, Great post.
I have to convey my gratitude for your kind-heartedness supporting individuals that have the need for help with your field. Your real commitment to passing the solution around has been rather interesting and have surely enabled people much like me to realize their aims. Your own informative publication implies a whole lot to me and extremely more to my mates. Many thanks; from all of us.
My wife and i got absolutely joyous John managed to do his research through the ideas he was given out of the web pages. It is now and again perplexing to just choose to be giving freely key points which others may have been trying to sell. And we discover we’ve got you to give thanks to for that. The most important explanations you’ve made, the simple blog menu, the relationships you will aid to instill – it is everything sensational, and it’s really leading our son and our family consider that the article is excellent, which is very pressing. Many thanks for all!
I truly wanted to type a small remark to appreciate you for these fantastic tricks you are showing at this website. My particularly long internet research has at the end been compensated with reasonable insight to go over with my great friends. I ‘d admit that many of us website visitors are definitely lucky to dwell in a wonderful network with very many special professionals with very helpful points. I feel rather privileged to have discovered your web site and look forward to some more fun moments reading here. Thanks a lot once more for all the details.
My husband and i felt now glad that Albert managed to carry out his web research using the precious recommendations he acquired when using the web pages. It is now and again perplexing to just be freely giving information and facts that many many others have been selling. We keep in mind we now have the blog owner to appreciate for this. Most of the illustrations you have made, the easy blog menu, the relationships your site aid to foster – it’s got all powerful, and it is aiding our son and the family believe that that subject matter is amusing, and that is rather important. Thanks for all!
Very efficiently written post. It will be valuable to anybody who usess it, including yours truly :). Keep up the good work – i will definitely read more posts.
I precisely desired to thank you very much once more. I do not know what I might have gone through without these basics revealed by you on my area of interest. Entirely was a distressing concern in my position, but taking a look at your skilled technique you treated it took me to cry with happiness. Now i’m grateful for this support and as well , pray you really know what an amazing job you happen to be providing training most people all through your websites. Most probably you haven’t got to know all of us.
I am commenting to let you understand what a fabulous encounter my wife’s child undergone viewing yuor web blog. She noticed lots of pieces, which included how it is like to possess an ideal teaching character to get folks with ease learn about specific multifaceted subject matter. You undoubtedly did more than our expected results. Many thanks for delivering such beneficial, trustworthy, informative not to mention unique tips about your topic to Sandra.
Some genuinely nice stuff on this internet site, I like it.
Very efficiently written information. It will be helpful to anyone who utilizes it, including myself. Keep up the good work – for sure i will check out more posts.
I really wanted to type a comment in order to express gratitude to you for all the wonderful pointers you are placing on this site. My time-consuming internet lookup has finally been compensated with high-quality facts to write about with my great friends. I would state that that most of us site visitors are unequivocally blessed to be in a good website with many special individuals with very helpful points. I feel quite grateful to have discovered your entire site and look forward to some more entertaining minutes reading here. Thank you once again for all the details.
Outstanding post however , I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this topic? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Many thanks!
I actually wanted to develop a simple word to thank you for all of the unique solutions you are placing on this website. My incredibly long internet look up has now been rewarded with wonderful knowledge to share with my best friends. I ‘d tell you that we website visitors are quite endowed to exist in a really good site with so many awesome professionals with very helpful tricks. I feel pretty lucky to have come across your entire web pages and look forward to many more exciting times reading here. Thanks a lot once more for everything.
Needed to create you a very small remark so as to thank you the moment again over the fantastic techniques you’ve discussed in this case. It’s so seriously generous with people like you to provide unreservedly all that most people might have marketed for an e-book in order to make some profit on their own, precisely considering the fact that you could possibly have done it if you considered necessary. These tricks also worked as the great way to be sure that other individuals have the same fervor really like my personal own to know the truth very much more when considering this matter. I know there are some more pleasurable occasions up front for people who look into your blog post.