Gestern Mittag verabschiedete sich mein Internetzugang. Es wurde etwas an den Einstellungen, Hardwaredingen, weiß der Geier was gemacht. Es ging nicht mehr. 
Völlig ratlos saß ich vor meinem ausgeschalteten Laptop und wusste nichts mit mir anzufangen. Lesen erschien mir eine gute Idee. Doch nach wenigen Seiten schweiften meine Gedanken ab. Meine Überlegungen flogen hin zum Thema “wie bekomme ich Katzen dazu auf ihr eigenes Klo zu gehen”. Ich richtete mich auf, wollte den Laptop aufklappen, doch da fiel mir ein dass man ohne Internet nicht googeln kann. Resignation machte sich breit.
Ich nutzte die Zeit und putze mein Badezimmer, staubsaugte und räumte ein wenig auf. Schnell noch einen Blick ins Internet, ob vielleicht ein schöner Film im Fernsehen kommt – Ich vergaß… kein Internet.
Ob mir jemand geschrieben hat? Ich kann keine Emails checken. Kein Skype, kein ICQ. Nicht einmal die Nachrichten kann ich lesen.
Wie ein Tiger in seinem Käfig ging ich um den kleinen Laptop herum. Laufen. Ich gehe laufen. Eine sehr gute Idee. Schnell Schuhe an, Klamotten an, iPod und Sensor eingesteckt … Nur um wieder zuhause angekommen zu bemerken, dass ich den iPod nicht mit nikeplus.com synchronisieren kann. Keine Internetverbindung!
Wann zum Teufel fing es an, dass ich mich so abhängig davon machte? Wann wurde Internet und alles was damit zu tun hat zur Sucht für mich. Ist es wirklich eine Sucht? Was tat ich früher eigentlich wenn ich freie Zeit hatte und zuhause blieb?
Ich habe den Verdacht, dass mit zunehmender Schnelligkeit meiner Internetverbindung und mit zunehmender Mobilität (WLan) meine Abhängigkeit progressiv anstieg. Doch wen soll ich deswegen anklagen, wenn nicht mich selbst alleine.
Seit heute Morgen bin ich nun wieder mit dem Netz verbunden und eine innerliche Ruhe und Sorglosigkeit breitet sich in mir aus. Die Sucht kann wieder gestillt werden.
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